Learning How To Speak Your Partner's Love Language

When my husband and I were first married, I made the (silly) assumption that my husband should be able to read my mind.  "I shouldn't have to tell him how I feel or what I want.  He should just know."  (Cue the laughter.)  Ten and a half years into marriage and my husband and I are still learning how to better communicate with each other, but we try to take the guesswork out of it by actually telling each other what we want or need from the other.  When I was in 7th grade, I decided to take French class to learn how to speak the language.  I stuck with it for five years and by the time I made it to my junior year of high school, I could carry on a decent conversation and felt fairly confident that if I ever made it to a French speaking country that I'd be able to get by.  But just like learning a foreign language takes time and practice, so does learning how to speak your partner's love language.

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Communicating In Marriage

"If you were stuck on a deserted island, what three things would you bring with you?"  We've probably all heard this question at least a handful of times and jokingly replied with something obvious like, "a boat".  The truth is, most people aren't going to find themselves lost on an island in the middle of no where.  But if you consider the question in a slightly different light, it becomes much more relatable: "If you had to choose one person to spend the rest of your life with, who would it be?"  Hopefully, you'd choose your spouse!

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Staying Connected With Your Spouse After Having Kids

Adjusting to life as a couple after having a baby can be a real challenge.  So many of the things that seemed simple beforehand suddenly become more complicated and time consuming: leaving the house, taking a shower and even getting dinner on the table take more time, effort and planning.  With a new little one in the house, you will probably find yourself thinking that there is no way you can do it all.  And so you start looking at where you can compromise.  Unfortunately, one of the first things to get pushed to the back burner is your relationship with your partner.  It might be a mutual decision or an unspoken agreement, but either way it's going to take a toll on your relationship.  So you might be asking yourself, just like my husband and I have after having our first two kids: how can I stay connected with my spouse/partner after having a new baby?

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Recognizing Joy in the Small Moments

My day to day life is pretty ordinary and often consists of fixing food, cleaning up the house, running errands, playing with my kids and other household tasks.  At a glance, it doesn't feel very glamorous and there are days when I can't wait for my husband to get home from work so I can turn the kids over to him while I escape to the bathroom by myself or go for a short walk around the block.  A break from everything I have to manage and be responsible for.  Does anyone else hear themselves in my words?

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9 Lessons Learned In 9 Years of Marriage

9.5 years ago: It was a Monday morning and I was heading into work at my on campus job when I made a quick detour into the bathroom to put on some mascara.  Another girl from a different department was in there doing the same thing and we chatted briefly before she asked me a question that would literally change my life, "Do you ever go on blind dates?"  I was a little taken aback since we'd only been talking for about two minutes, but answered with a "yes" before she explained that she wanted to set me up with her younger brother.  Three days later he called (after much pestering from his sister) and we set up a date for that weekend.  To make a long story short: our first date was a huge success, we started dating exclusively a week later, got engaged two months later and married four months after that.  Today, we are celebrating our nine year wedding anniversary (yay!) and I wanted to share some of the lessons I've learned during our time together.  (Plus you get to see cute pictures of me and my hubby. *wink*)

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The ULTIMATE All Things Valentines Round Up

Less than two weeks ago, an idea popped into my head.  It went something along the lines of, "Holy crap!  Valentine's Day is going to be here in a month!  I need some new ideas, yummy recipes, crafts, printables, beauty... I need all things Valentines!"  I hopped on a few Facebook groups and asked my blogging friends to submit their Valentines posts for what I hoped would be an ultimate Valentines round up.  I didn't just want crafts or recipes.  I wanted something where I could find a ton of different ideas centered around Valentines all in one place.  And that, my friends, is how this post came into being.

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4 Ways To Keep Moving Forward

Last week, I posted about the campaign I got involved in called "I Am Amazing Because..."  The purpose and goal of this campaign is to promote confidence and positivity by recognizing the talents and abilities and characteristics of those around us that we find amazing and unique and then telling them.  We, as individuals, should be included in this recognition and often I think we forget or downplay what is amazing about ourselves.  When I shared my post last week, I wrote that one of the qualities in myself that I find amazing is my ability to keep moving forward.

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3 Ways To Feel Good About Yourself

When I was going through my awkward pre-teen and teenage years, I received a lot of comments about my size and weight.  I've always been tall and thin.  I have a high metabolism as well as being active.  Some of the comments I got were positive: "Wow, you look great!"  (Thank you.)  Others were stereotypical: "Are you trying out for cheerleading?"  (No, I'm not.)  And others implied that I had an eating disorder: "What do you eat everyday?  An apple?"  (I actually ate more than some grown men.)

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The Worst Marriage Advice I Ever Received

This last May, my husband and I celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary.  It is crazy to think of both how short a time that is and yet how long it seems and how much has happened during that time.  We both graduated with our undergrad degrees, bought our first home, had our first baby, graduate school for my husband, finishing our basement and having our second baby, plus family vacations, birthdays, holidays... I could go on forever!

As many women who are to be married, I had bridal showers thrown by family and friends.  (I had a total of three.)  And at each shower, all of the women gave their advice for how to have a happy marriage.  It was fun and enlightening to hear what each person had to say.  Some I agreed with and others I accepted with a smile on my face but quickly discarded.  My favorite wedding advice I ever heard was at one of my best friend's bridal showers when her aunt or grandma (I can't remember which) said, "If you're gonna fight, fight naked!" HAHA!  I think there's probably some truth to that. *wink*

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How To Celebrate Your Anniversary On A Tight Budget

Tomorrow my husband and I will be celebrating our EIGHT year anniversary!  It's hard to believe how fast the time has gone and all that's happened in that time: college graduation (2 Undergraduate degrees and one Masters degree), bought our first home, had 2 kids, job changes and many other experiences and memories.  I always look forward to celebrating our anniversary because I love remembering and celebrating the day we were married.

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Why Being Vulnerable Matters

There is this topic that's come up recently in conversations with family and friends.  It's the topic of vulnerability.  A recurring thought that's been shared between myself and those I'm talking to is the feeling that vulnerability is something to be feared.  That if you're vulnerable, you're weak.  And if you're weak, you will be ridiculed, taken advantage of and the respect of others will be lost.

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When "I'm Sorry" Is Enough

Recently, I've been dealing with some hard things in my life.  Nothing life threatening or relationship damaging.  But hard nonetheless.  Things that don't seem fair and I'm having a hard time seeing the positive and having hope.  I was sharing my feelings with a friend the other day and she just looked at me and said, "I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  That really sucks."  And then she gave me a hug.

Life is hard.  Life can give us really difficult things to face.  Some are fleeting.  Others stay with you for a long time.  And it's during these hard times that it's really nice to confide in someone.  To spill your guts and not think about how irrational or negative your thoughts might be.  To not have to think through exactly how you're feeling.  It might change in 30 minutes.  It might not.  But what you don't need to hear from the person you're sharing your thoughts and feelings with is an insincere, "That's too bad."  Or "well at least..." and then name something that is clearly worse than your current circumstances but doesn't make you feel any better and might even make you feel worse.

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Choose Happiness

Happy 2016!  How did you ring in the new year?  I'll be honest, I was in bed well before midnight so I was sleeping and trying to finish getting over this dang cold that's taken over my life for the last couple of weeks.

It might sound cliche, but I truly love the idea of new beginnings.  Have you ever had a day that seemed to be going all wrong, only to make a conscious decision to "start over"?  Or going to bed grumpy and waking up to see the sun shining and you have a smile on your face before you get out of bed?  I love knowing that while I might not have control over how everything in my day goes, that I do have control over how I react to it.  And isn't that half the battle?

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